Transformational Coaching

An opportunity to explore and make change in something that deeply matters to you

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"Adam helped me discover what I really want in my relationships. I feel much more trust in myself and a kind of loving inner confidence... The shift is profound".

RW - Lawyer

I'm Adam Wilder, Speaker, Boundaries and Desires Coach and founder of the Togetherness movement.

As a recovering people pleaser I know how difficult it can be to have satisfying relationships when we:

  • Lack healthy boundaries
  • Don't know what we want
  • Find it hard to say no
  • Put all our energy into pleasing others
  • Feel out of touch with our authentic selves
  • Feel pleasure is not available to us

For the past 20 years I have been learning, teaching and creating at the cutting edge in the world of personal development, discovering what I needed for my own growth and sharing it with others.

My passion is to support others realise more of who they are, to experience deeper connection, richer relationships, freedom of expression and live a more purposeful and fulfilling life.

I generally work with groups however occasionally have the space to work 1 on 1 or with couples who are committed and ready to make a change.

My coaching practice draws from many of the modalities I have trained in over the years. At the core is Circling, a non-linear approach which allows for creative processes and unexpected outcomes to emerge during the sessions. It helps us get to the heart of the matter quickly and allows for deeply held patterns and ways of being to be revealed very naturally. 

I'm greatly influenced by the Wheel of Consent model which brings clarity and understanding for boundaries and relationship dynamics and my training as a counsellor and in the process of Inquiry.

Getting to the truth and revealing our deeper desires has a lasting liberating impact on our well-being and aliveness.

Coaching sessions can take many forms: from focusing on a specific clear topic and working from A to B — to deep explorations that may become transpersonal in nature.


Some areas this coaching can help you with

Personal Boundaries

Integrate your people-pleasing tendencies and align to and act from your authentic boundaries and desires


Learn to listen to yourself and develop a profound sense of self-trust and relaxed confidence

Couples Work

Uncover the hidden dynamics which are guiding your relating. Discover joyful exchange, honest communication and new sensual aliveness  

Emotional Fluency

Re-discover playfulness and depth, broaden your emotional range

Masculine & Feminine

Uncover your deeper masculine and feminine qualities and embody them unashamedly

Relationships & Intimacy

Feel at home with your desires and needs and bring more intimacy and connection to key relationships

Empowered leadership at work

Bring your authentic self to your work, increase your impact and improve working relationships

"Working with Adam has empowered me to find my voice at work. I feel more confident to maintain my boundaries and better prepared for difficult conversations".

AF - Project Manager

'Unleash Yourself'


I tend to work with people for at least 4 sessions to give us a stronger container for change.

Cost varies according to means, between £75 and £150 per session.


Book a no obligation 20 min discovery call with me

Book Discovery Call

About Me

I am interested in the power of attention and the transformation that effortlessly arises from that.

Most of us only receive attention when we do something impressive or look great. Receiving attention for no reason can be profound.

Over my career I have been onstage as a comedian, designed exceptional experiences of connection at festivals, started a speed dating company without talking, organised the world's first festival of human connection and arranged the largest spooning circle (with over 1100 spooners).

In 2017 I trained as a counsellor and am a qualified facilitator of the Wheel of Consent. I am a certified Circling Instructor and have completed further study in Circling Coaching. I run regular group workshops on boundaries, desire, relating, authentic leadership and self-discovery.

I'm loyal to the aliveness in you and will use every tool at my disposal to support you to reach your goals.

Book Discovery Call


"It feels like the light has been switched on in a dark room. I suddenly feel I now have the tools to be myself within relationships, and can enrich the relationships themselves by being more authentic".


"Adam helped me to make contact with what I've been avoiding all my life and to really be with it. I feel a new sense of power in myself and lovingness in my life.".


"Since working with Adam, my confidence has grown to the point where I dare to ask for what I want."