I came to the workshop to help overcome some issues I have within interpersonal relationships regarding boundaries and trauma.

In the past, my approach to touch and choice was hesitantly or only whilst being disassociated from my body.

During the workshop, things changed. I started to feel more of a release of guardedness and was able to let go. I felt as if I wanted to be touched as opposed to resisting it constantly and it enabled me to feel connected to what I wanted from the touch of another.

My experience of touch is different now. I feel more tactile in my friendships and it has also awoken my sensuality and craving for that level of intimacy in my life again, which is something I thought may not come back - it was transformative.

The workshop showed me that I do not have to put up with things I do not like and that is totally okay. Since the workshop, I have had some harsh realisations about previous sexual relationships which may not have incorporated my choices and although that part has been painful, it has been incredibly healing.

Adam was compassionate, insightful, empowering and supportive throughout this experience. The group setting also enabled us as participants to emanate compassion and support for one another. 

The teaching methodology is very supportive and always gives you the option. It incorporates both learning through insightful descriptive teaching and physical interaction with checking in, feedback and discussion - with a bit of playful dancing and movement too.

Adam as a teacher is captivating. He was patient, compassionate and really made me feel completely at ease and comfortable. He really listened to me and gave me space to explore how I have been holding myself back without any judgement. Adam is fun and playful too which automatically entices a good dynamic.

My aha moment is that I do like being touched and I am not as avoidant or 'broken' as I initially suspected. Also that I am not alone and even others on the other end of the scale feel the same feelings I have done due to consent-related issues.

The big benefit of the workshop is discovering that you are worthy of having choices. That you do not have to people please and that direct, kind and honest communication is the cornerstone of more authentic encounters.

By enabling me to really think about what I want regarding touch and working through the feelings of being a 'burden' to realize this other person is happy to do this for me. It helped that these people were strangers at first and so no attachment meant less of an expectation of myself to people please (although this was my initial standpoint always, the awareness was heightened in this workshop which was invaluable and a safe space to explore this).

The workshop was empowering and transformative - allowed me to see the idea of touch as a positive thing, not a frightening burden.

Something that was tricky for me was that I noticed I wanted to avoid and run as soon as we were asked to 'choose partners'. I had to constantly keep checking in with myself (Adam gently reminded me too) that this experience was to notice my own wants and choices and although I struggled at first, by acknowledging my resistance and initial want to people please, by the end I was acting more authentically for the first time in years.

The toughest moment for me was seeing the shadow sides of the wheel and grimly accepting that I have been manipulative in some of my interactions with people due to my own dishonesty and fear of rejection. Adam's viewpoint that instead of labelling behaviours "good and bad", to look at them overall without judgement changed my view on this and allowed me to extend the compassion he offered in these scenarios, to myself.

To future participants I would say, be as open and honest as you can be to get the most out of it. It is a really safe and beautiful space.

It helped me reignite my want to be touched again, both sexually and platonically instead of avoiding and hiding away. It has also enabled me to treat my body with a more gentle touch instead of frustration. The course was transformative for my sexual trauma healing.

Becky Banks, Law Student.

The main reason I came was to get a more comprehensive understanding of the Wheel of consent, to work with the Togetherness organisation and to give to myself time for what I want.

In the past I have tended to avoid touch and hugging, which is a direct result of my childhood. And I am a people pleaser, so used to neglecting my own choices. 

Things changed for me throughout the workshop. Though I was anxious on the first day, when I allowed myself the choice to be vulnerable, I felt more settled and safe within the group.

Since the weekend, I am not taking touch for granted. I’m also stoping to think, and notice what kind of touch I do want albeit at my own pace. I’ve become more respectful of anothers right to say no, esp when in a relationship or dealing with my daughter.

The group were warm, kind and inviting. The teaching is a good balance of listening, interactions, theory and practice, all blended together to ensure there is a smooth flow throughout the weekend.

As a teacher, Adam has a very good pace, very calming and makes the group feel at ease. He balances the learning with humour to make everyone feel relaxed.

My aha moment was learning  to deal with my uncomfortableness of working with a male partner, in doing so I learned to forget about gender but see him a person first. I believe I learned more about myself from this experience.

For me the benefit has been learning to think about what is important in terms of what I want, allowing myself to ask rather than give, and to find better ways of communicating with those who are important to me.

The real life practices we did were very useful in helping to overcome anxieties.

Due to past experiences touch does not always feel safe for me,  I was very weary esp when working with females. I had to lean into my anxieties, to allow myself to share this with the group and do some big processing after the first day.

My advice to future participants is to go on the course, allow yourself time for yourself and think about receiving rather than giving.

It has helped me to think about what I want, to be able to listen to my daughter and what she wants rather than what I think she wants. And to try and be more comfortable with touch.

David Partington, Support Manager

Personally I took it to more clearly discover my authentic “yes” and practise embodied “no”. Professionally, it was to discover new ways to teach consent & consider how I would translate that to a teenage audience. 

I’m very tactile so touch is important to me and I use it as a way to connect with people.  I am clear on how to make obvious choices – eg: whether something feels good, if I want to do something. I already used ‘consent’ phrases to get clearer responses from people in intimate settings. 

One of my major discoveries is how the wheel relates to life more broadly. This week,  particularly at work, I’ve been tuning into when I “tolerate” things rather than expressing my true wants/desires. 

Another benefit is that I learned to check in more regularly with others about what forms of touch they would like (rather than assuming they like what I like).  I learned to be more specific about my requests [and the choices I have within that]. Now I feel more aware of how often I touch people without consent for my own need – eg: hugging friends, touching people’s arms when I’m talking to them, walking arm in arm. I feel more attuned to where the impulse is coming from and more curiosity about whether that is also something they want. It feels clunky atm – but I’m interested in exploring it and practising more. 

As a teacher, Adam had a great balance between ‘gravitas’ and humour. He appeared very grounded and centred and the structure of the workshop was clear. I felt the ‘intentions’ of the workshop were met – an overview of the wheel and practical experiences to explore that. 

I often feel like there are people who don’t share at these things – but by the end of the weekend I felt like I had heard from everyone as he kept inviting different people to speak if they wanted. 

I particularly enjoyed the way the he checked in with the group – “has anyone else ever experienced that?” and people would raise their hands – it was very unifying. 

My ‘aha’ is when you’re with people also willing to do the work and communicate – it all flows so much easier. I can be authentically me and feel safe to make requests that meet my needs – and with the right people they may even get met. 

I was worried there was going to be nudity or more ‘sexual’ requests – but I feel this was really well established at the start of the workshop and the group held that space well.  So I felt safe in the real-life practises. I enjoyed the duration of the activities – slowing down and doing less felt like I drop into the experiences more. 

Lisa W – Educator 

I took the workshop to help process some recent events in my personal life.  

The course was well planned, with a variety of activities to gradually immerse one in new concepts and exercises toward deeper awareness and connection. 

As a teacher, Adam was deeply compassionate & knowledgeable. He explained everything with clear well paced communication skills and examples. 

Participating made me feel a lot more secure with several past relationships & with myself. It was reassuring and I enjoyed the content a lot .

This is an awesome workshop to review concepts & language about trust, authentic connecting & consent. 

Anita, Educator

The group experience was very supportive of shared human experience. It brought humor, emotion, and realism towards understanding where I stood in relation to the quadrants, and allowed me to feel part of a larger body of natural impulses at play.

Adam seemed comfortable in himself, facilitating with a light touch he left space for unique moments to emerge and anchored the group by way of a kind of playful gravitas. His spaciousness offered a reflection that enabled me to access that part of myself more, in turn relaxing me into a deeper personal experience.

My "Aha!" moment came after a little assimilation time. I realise that during the course of the two days my most precious moments were when receiving simple and still presence/holding. Just accepting it... knowing that the other was willing and available to give. This touched me to the core. I can see starkly how, due to patterns accrued in childhood, I have unconsciously set this up to be mostly unavailable in my relationships, choosing partners who through their own trauma around intimacy, have not had the capacity to meet this important relational need.

I feel a huge benefit having been in a space created precisely to enable clear seeing of the conditioning that prevents the pleasure of connection. And, to have been able to experience in slow motion, my edges softening, vulnerability taking over, and new-old pathways to joy and gratitude coming alive.

Looking forward to more, more, more!

- Mirach Duncan, workshop participant

I have a good intuition and understanding of other peoples' bodies -- but I have sometimes relied on that more than I should. My issue with the way I did things is that by not asking specific questions, I wasn't giving an option to make a choice. We could pass by a key decision moment unaware, and slip out of consent. 

The workshop got me thinking about the agreed container. It needs to be explicitly defined. And then I can act with integrity within the container and ask if I'm unclear or desiring to change the bounds.

Waking up the hands and focussing on ‘taking’ has opened my eyes to new joys and ways of seeking pleasure. Also, understanding who it is for when I take, allows me to indulge more confidently and more fully.

The important development came from leaning into the noticing and trusting before answering requests. It's something I am keen to explore more, with questions that are further from my comfort zone and closer to my boundaries.

There were lovely people in the group. People were kind to each other and helped each other through the more challenging moments. In that sense, the group supported each other against negatives.

Adam used a mixture of theory, hands-on activities, group reflection, play and rest times to convey ideas and help us integrate them. He had a wealth of knowledge and personal experience. He has been on a journey himself which resonates with me in many ways. He shared relatable stories from his past or current challenges he is facing to demonstrate how he applies the lessons from the Wheel in his own life. He held a comfortable and flexible space, which allowed me to feel at ease engaging in the activities.

My aha moment was that I am not explicitly aware of my own needs. I act intuitively and fulfill them that way. Or I focus on other peoples' needs and satisfy myself indirectly through serving or allowing. Taking time to notice my desires and then trusting them was a major shift in how I operate. I am excited to give myself space to try this more outside of the workshop!

This workshop is immensely valuable. Anybody who shows up to the workshop authentically and openly will take important strides along their own personal journey.

The course has given me confidence. I have better communication tools to bolster all my interactions going forward. I have more self-awareness of my own needs to understand the foundations of my own consent.

- Trevor Hooton, workshop participant

I decided to take this workshop to know myself better, to shed light on confusing past experiences and to validate my decisions. And I wanted to have an experiential learning experience (with regard to consent).

In the past I’ve been scared of crossing others’ boundaries when they don’t speak up and found myself repelled by over-givers who cross their own boundaries and then resent you.

Throughout the workshop I remembered how to play, what brings me joy and that humans aren’t always scary (they just need an agreed framework a.k.a boundaries).

Since the workshop I feel more empowered in my decision making. I found the group experience supportive. It was the bodily feeling of safety with other real-life mammals.

Adam was sensitive to the needs of the group and the individuals within the group. He led intuitively at a relaxed pace. He was inclusive and welcoming and was generous with time for listening to questions and experiences.

My aha moment was noticing that for me, asking for what I want feels empowering whilst asking others to do something for me feels vulnerable.

If everyone did this workshop, then we would all know how to play and there would be more people to play with.

I wholeheartedly recommend this workshop to others. It’s invaluable content, best suited to experiential learning and Adam is a wonderful facilitator who is clearly passionate about what he teaches.

The experience challenged me to look at the behaviour I tolerate from others and lead to a decision to end contact with manipulative ex. It also prompted valuable conversations with my children.

My toughest moment was approaching Adam to share that I had been triggered by him. I overcame it by owning my feelings, giving myself time (sitting out) and self-care (cocoa & blanket).

My advice to future participants is to be greedy. This course personally helped me be more confident in my ‘no’ and therefore gave me more self-respect and self-trust.

Ashleigh, mother

As the workshop went on and into the second day I became a bit quicker at / more familiar with checking in to what I wanted, so there was a change in orientation towards checking in to what I wanted. 

Now I'm more aware when I touch someone of "who is it for?" and I seem to notice more what I want now even if I don't always say it (but I'm working on that!)

I do feel a stronger sense now of it being really important to make a choice, tune into what I want and say what I want/don't want.

It was supportive to be in a group trying out the exercises with different people. It felt like a safe supportive environment for me. 

The teacher was friendly and brought some lightness/humour into a serious/important topic. He didn't rush anything, took time in explanations and discussion and offered ample time for the exercises so I could really be patient with myself and tune in (was sometimes hard to know what I wanted) and make a choice. Also important for me was he reminded me often of the option to opt-in or out of everything.

When exploring the shadow sides of the wheel, I did see a lot of unhealthy behaviours of mine in there and family members etc. That was helpful and reminded me how important this work is and how I want to increase my awareness and skills around this / how I relate to and operate in the world. 

The real-life practices were really helpful. It made it much easier for me to understand the wheel quadrants when done as practical exercises.

During the workshop, I had to let go of the view that I don't know what I want, as I actually did know what I wanted when I slowed down and really tuned in. Also had to let go of the worry or distrust I had around people not saying what they really mean /want...I was invited to trust that people would say what they were not prepared to do/prepare to do and I could relax into receiving. This was a challenge. 

The toughest moment for me was when someone asked to work with me and I did not want to work with them and I said no thank you. I'm not sure how I overcame it, I just trusted myself in that moment, noticed the fear and discomfort of saying no to them, and then said no anyway! The discomfort of potentially having hurt or offended the person did stay with me, and I felt awkward toward that person for the remainder of the workshop, but it faded after the workshop finished.

To future participants, I say come along and have a go. There's lots of room for opting in or out of exercises, taking it at your own pace, and no pressure or rush to do anything you don't want to do. Held space like this and hearing what other peoples' experiences were like was incredibly valuable for me as I learn more about this stuff myself. The workshop felt spacious (i.e. I was able to take my time and I'm someone who needs to practice going slowly and carefully in touch and choosing to really tune in).

The weekend gave me lots of practice in making choices and noticing what I'm feeling/wanting. 

- Jodie, Business Analyst