Boundaries & Desires

Transform your relationships with the

Wheel of Consent

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Discover how to navigate your boundaries and desires through the model of the Wheel of Consent, a powerful tool to help us understand the unseen dynamics which guide the ways we relate to each other. 

Learn to make clear agreements and get in touch with what you want and how to ask for it so you can create satisfying connections with yourself, partners, family members and colleagues.

Have you ever found it hard to say no? 

If you have, you are not alone. 

When we can't say no, we can end up doing things we aren't willing to do and this can lead to self-blame or resenting the person who asked.

Over the workshop we discover all the reasons why it can be hard to say no. 

We learn to discern between what we are and are not willing to do and explore a process & vocabulary for setting healthy boundaries which support our relationships.

Are you ever unsure about what you want?

Knowing what we want can feel tricky, especially when other people are involved.

Sometimes it feels easier (and less risky) to focus on what others want instead. Over time we can learn to diminish our needs and prioritise those of others.

In this workshop, we explore embodied practices which wake up our ability to notice and trust ourselves, so we become clearer about our own needs, wants and desires.

Have you ever accepted a gift you didn't want then pretended to like it?

This is a common experience as we often don't want to disappoint the 'giver'.

In relationships, we can 'give' actions we think the other wants and they might pretend to like it.

Sometimes this goes on for years, with no one getting what they really want or need. This can be frustrating and lead to resentment.

In this workshop we learn to differentiate between what we want and who the action is for so we can communicate clearly and experience authentic, satisfying relationships.

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This workshop is about noticing and learning to choose. 

 It's about waking up our natural ability to notice what we do and don’t want. It’s about slowing right down and creating clear agreements that we can relax into.

We do this so that when we are giving we can be sure it’s something the other person wants to receive and that we are willing to give it, with a whole heart, without resentment or burnout. In turn, when we are receiving, we are sure it is something we want and that the other is willing to give, so that we can practice relaxing and accepting the gift into our core.

When we do this we learn to trust ourselves more and naturally we become more confident in our ability to choose. We stop tolerating things at work or in relationships and learn to notice and communicate our true desires and wishes. We open the door to more authentic and enriching connection.

It supports us to set boundaries and ask for what we need instead of going into our default modes of people-pleasing, diminishing our desires, or enduring something we don’t want. It opens the door for more intimate, fulfilling relationships with those we care about. 

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Understanding and embodying the Wheel of Consent happens best through a somatic experience ‚Äď you have to feel it in your skin. Therefore, learning the Wheel happens through touch exercises.

Whilst there are opportunities for exchanging touch as part of the learning in this fully clothed workshop, this is 100% optional and it is not necessary to touch or be touched to learn. 

The Wheel shows us four kinds of relating within clear agreements

Serving

another for their benefit – we do what they want – within our boundaries

Taking 

for our own benefit – doing what we want – while respecting the giver’s boundaries

Allowing 

another to take from us – they do what they want with our permission – while maintaining our boundaries

Accepting

the gift of another’s service – they do what we want – while maintaining their boundaries

 

 

Unless you take apart and experience each of these four aspects, it is impossible to know what they really are.

 

Over 2 days we will

  • Learn what ‘Receiving’ and ‘Giving’ really are – and why knowing the difference is crucial for creating authentic connection and intimacy
  • Find out where we are clear (or not) in Receiving and Giving
  • Learn the framework of the Wheel of Consent® and the four Quadrants as a foundation for connection
  • Experience pleasure and sensation in your skin that you can access any time you choose
  • Access parts of yourself that have been hidden away that are ready to be seen, appreciated and healed
  • Gain skills to bring awareness to your hands so that all your touch is rich and satisfying
  • Become exquisitely aware of your desires and limits and how to communicate them
  • Practice Receiving, Giving and experiencing each of the four Quadrants
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Who this is for

Individuals & Couples

  • Discover a map of the hidden dynamics which guide our relationships
  • Learn to navigate what you do and don't want
  • Develop healthy personal boundaries
  • Get in touch with your needs, wants and desires
  • Learn how to give and receive more satisfying touch
  • Deepen your natural capacity for connection & intimacy

  • Find more ease, confidence and sensuality in your relationships

Counsellors, Therapists, Masseurs

  • Learn a new model to understand and work with your client's issues 
  • Discover tools and practices to take away and use with clients
  • Get clearer on your personal and professional boundaries

  • Train in the cutting edge of consent technology

  • Discern where your unconscious desires may bleed into your professional work
  • Unlock your ability to notice what you want and how to ask for it in your private life

Solopreneurs, Entrepreneurs, Organisations

  • Get in touch with your personal boundaries and learn to communicate them to support wellbeing
  • Learn the secret to  making clear agreements with colleagues, suppliers and clients

  • Level up your communication and integrity

  • Discover how the Wheel of Consent can inform your work

  • Find your ability to notice what you want and how to ask for it in your private life
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2024 Workshop Dates

2 Day Wheel of Consent Workshop

Totnes 16-17 March 2024

SOLD OUT

Join the waitlist 

2 Day Wheel of Consent Workshop

Sussex 18-19 May 2024

£265 

SOLD OUT

Emmerson College, Forest Row

Questions? Get in touch 

2 Day Wheel of Consent Workshop

London 8-9 June 2024

£285 

Shambhala Meditation Centre, Clapham

Questions? Get in touch 

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2 Day Wheel of Consent Workshop

London 21-22 September 2024

£285 

£245 Early bird

available until 21 July 2024, use code 'SAVE40' at checkout

Shambhala Meditation Centre, Clapham

Questions? Get in touch 

Join Workshop Now

2 Day Wheel of Consent Workshop

London 7-8 December 2024

£285 

£228 Early bird 

available until 7 October 2024, use code 'DEC40' at checkout

Shambhala Meditation Centre, Clapham

Questions? Get in touch 

Join Workshop Now

About your facilitator

Adam has taught this model to hundreds of individuals over the last 6 years and is a certified Wheel of Consent Facilitator.

Adam founded the Togetherness movement in 2017 which has touched more than 20,000 people from across the world with a shared vision to serve, educate and personally develop and evolve through unique initiatives and workshops. 

Adam is known for creating ‘Shhh Dating’, the world’s first speed dating experience based on non-verbal connection games; the House of Togetherness pop up venue in central London and hosting the largest ever mass-spooning circle with 1,447 spooners at Wilderness Festival.
 
Adam regularly delivers creative and culture-changing workshops to businesses and organisations. He is a trained counsellor, certified wheel of consent and circling facilitator and a massive advocate for playfulness and creativity.

More on Adam at AdamWilder.com

Start your journey to better boundaries and richer relationships today with our

FREE 3 Minute Game resource pack

  • Learn a simple game you can start playing straight away with partners and friends
  • Discover your default patterns around giving and receiving
  • Begin getting in touch with what you really want and asking for it

We won't share your email with anyone else

Want to learn more? 

This workshop is based on Betty Martin's Wheel of Consent. It's all laid out beautifully in her new book The Art of Receiving and Giving

We recommend this book for those interested but unsure whether they want to attend a workshop and for those who have taken the workshop and want to continue learning.

This book is a great foundation for the work and takes you through exercises you can try with friends and partners.

Available from all good bookstores and Amazon.

Get the book