Weekend Workshop

Transform your relationships with the Art of Giving and Receiving

next dates

Totnes: 8-9 October 2022 SOLD OUT

Utrecht: 25-27 November 2022 AVAILABLE

London: 10-11 December 2022 AVAILABLE

Intro event 8 November, London

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When we engage with others, whether it is a family member, friend, colleague or romantic partner – are we doing what they want us to do, or what they allow us to do?

 

What is the difference and why does it matter?

At this weekend workshop, we will learn the Wheel of Consent, a powerful tool to help us understand the unseen dynamics which guide the ways we relate to each other. 

We will learn to make clear agreements and get in touch with what we want and how to ask for it so we can create satisfying connections with ourselves, partners, family members and colleagues.

Have you ever accepted a gift you don't want?

Sometimes a giver will offer what they imagine you like and you pretend to like it so as not to disappoint them.

This is rarely satisfying!

It's not just about physical gifts, this mismatch in giving and receiving happens all the time in relationships. Both parties trying to protect the feelings of the other and no-one getting what they actually want or need.

In this workshop we learn to differentiate between what we do and do not want and how to communicate it in healthy ways.

Do you ever find it hard to choose?

Knowing what we actually want in a situation can feel tricky, especially where other people are involved.

Sometimes it seems easier (and safer) to focus on what the other person might want instead.

When this dynamic occurs, it can be like going to a banquet but not getting to eat anything ourselves.

In this workshop, we learn to choose what we want within the limits of what the other person is willing to give.

Have you said yes to a request and felt resentful after?

If you have, it's likely you gave something you were not willing to give (but found it tough to say no to).

Over the weekend we discover why it can be hard to say no and all the creative behaviors we develop instead.

We learn to discern what we are and are not willing to do and a process & vocabulary for setting healthy boundaries which support our relationships.

This workshop is about noticing and learning to choose.

 

It's about waking up our natural ability to notice what we do and don’t want. It’s about slowing right down and making really clear agreements that we can relax into.

 

We do this so that when we are giving we can be sure it’s something the other person wants to receive and that we are willing to give it, with a whole heart, without resentment or burnout. And that when we are receiving, we are sure it is something we want and that the other is willing to give, so that we can practice allowing the gift all the way in.

Often there is more vulnerability in receiving what we want, than in giving. 

When we do this we learn to trust ourselves more and naturally we become more confident in our ability to choose. We stop tolerating things at work or in relationships and learn to trust and communicate our true desires and wishes. We open the door to more authentic and enriching connection.

The Wheel takes apart the unseen dynamics which guide and often confuse our interactions.

 

It does this so we can explore each relating style and understand each in turn. This equips us better for when we find ourselves in situations where we would naturally go into a people-pleasing mode, or end up tolerating or enduring something we don’t want.

 

Through an embodied exploration of the wheel, we develop permanent trait shifts which start showing benefits in all areas of our lives. It makes it easier to make clear agreements with colleagues, clients and bosses. It opens the door for more fulfilling relationships with our families. It impacts the way we show up in relationships and bring up our children. 

 

The Wheel gives us the practices, framework and embodiment to orient towards what we really desire and away from what we don't. This can have a huge impact on our lives.

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The Wheel shows us four kinds of relating within clear agreements

Taking 

for our own benefit – doing what we want – while respecting the giver’s boundaries

Allowing 

another to take from us – they do what they want with our permission – while maintaining our boundaries

Serving

another for their benefit – we do what they want – within our boundaries

Accepting

the gift of another’s service – they do what we want – while maintaining their boundaries

 

 

Unless you take apart and experience each of these four aspects, it is impossible to know what they really are.

 

 
Understanding and embodying the Wheel of Consent happens best through a somatic experience – you have to feel it in your skin. Therefore, learning the Wheel happens through touch exercises.

 

Whilst there are opportunities for exchanging touch as part of the learning in this fully clothed workshop, this is 100% optional and it is not necessary to touch or be touched to learn from the session. 

Over 2 days we will

  • Learn what ‘Receiving’ and ‘Giving’ really are – and why knowing the difference is crucial for creating authentic connection and intimacy
  • Find out where we are clear (or not) in Receiving and Giving
  • Learn the framework of the Wheel of Consent® and the four Quadrants as a foundation for connection
  • Experience pleasure and sensation in your skin that you can access any time you choose
  • Access parts of yourself that have been hidden away that are ready to be seen, appreciated and healed
  • Gain skills to bring awareness to your hands so that all your touch is rich and satisfying
  • Become exquisitely aware of your desires and limits and how to communicate them
  • Practice Receiving, Giving and experiencing each of the four Quadrants
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"This workshop taught me how to experience integrity with myself and how to show up more respectfully in all my relationships, both personal and professional.

 

Adam clearly has a mastery of the concepts both intellectually and in an embodied way, which created a safe container for exploring deeply personal issues.

 

Highly recommended for anyone who wants to grow in their ability to love themselves and others."

Becky M., Author, Entrepreneur

Who this is for

Individuals & Couples

  • Develop personal boundaries and ability to choose
  • Understand why it can be hard to say no or ask for what we want or need
  • Discover new language to say yes, no and maybe to requests and offers
  • Learn how to give and receive more satisfying touch
  • Deepen your connection & intimacy

  • Find more ease, confidence and sensuality in your relationships

Wellbeing Professionals

  • Get clearer on your personal and professional boundaries

  • Level up your consent skills

  • Embody the wheel and learn how to bring it to your clients and workshops
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Logistics

 

Timing

We run from 10 am - 6 pm on Saturday and Sunday. You are welcome to arrive from 9:30 am each day. In Holland, we add a Friday evening which is 7-10pm.

What to bring

Usual workshop stuff, a water bottle, clothes you are free to move in and a notebook and pen if you like to journal or take notes.

Food & Drink

Throughout the workshop, we provide teas, coffee, hot drinks and a selection of fruits and nibbles. For lunch you are welcome to bring your own or there are usually a number of places nearby where you can eat.

Past participants said

"It feels like the light has been switched on in a dark room. I suddenly feel I have the tools to be myself within relationships, and can enrich the relationships themselves by being more authentic"

- Ana-Georgeta Bolohoi, workshop participant

About your facilitator

Adam Wilder’s dynamic and charismatic presence as host, comedian, facilitator, coach and social entrepreneur has been the inspiration for exceptional and unique ways of enhancing human connection over the last 20 years through his work with individuals, groups and as a talented performer.

His magnetic presence, passion, power and humour has inspired thousands of individuals to transcend new frontiers within themselves. Adam’s ineffable warmth and playful state of being puts people immediately at ease, building inclusive communities whilst enhancing connection and cultural understanding. He invites us to grapple with thorny issues through the creative medium.

Fuelled by a vision to lighten peoples loads whilst deepening human understanding and experience, Adam founded the Togetherness movement in 2017 which has touched more than 20,000 people from across the world with a shared vision to serve, educate and personally develop and evolve through Adam’s many unique initiatives and workshops. 

Adam is known for creating ‘Shhh Dating’, the world’s first speed dating experience based on non-verbal connection games; the House of Togetherness pop up venue in central London and hosting the largest ever mass-spooning circle with 1,447 spooners at Wilderness Festival.
 
Adam regularly delivers creative and culture-changing workshops to businesses and organisations. He is a trained counsellor, certified wheel of consent and circling facilitator and a massive advocate for playfulness and creativity.

More on Adam at AdamWilder.com

Join our next workshop

London

10-11 Dec 2022

£259

Limited Earlybird places available at

£199

Led by Adam Wilder

Book now
Pay in 3 monthly installments

We offer a discount to all NHS staff and do not want anyone to be excluded from learning this valuable practice because of lack of funds.

Get in touch if you need a bursary or to take advantage of the NHS offer.

Totnes

8 - 9 October 2022

SOLD OUT

Led by Adam Wilder with assistance from Mirach Duncan

Book here

Utrecht, NL

7-10pm Friday 25th, 10am - 6pm 26-27 November

25 - 27 November 2022

€333 - €429

More details on BeTouched community website

Book here

Join an evening intro workshop

8 November, London

PLACES AVAILABLE

This is designed as an introduction to the Wheel. On the evening we will:

  • Learn a technique to wake up our natural ability to feel sensation and experience pleasure in our hands
  • Play an enjoyable game we can use with friends and partners to explore the dynamics of giving and receiving
  • Look at a basic diagram of the wheel so we can start to understand the 4 quadrants and relational dynamics it shows us
  • Give you handouts about the wheel and the games to take away and enjoy
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Shaun

This course has taught me to respect my boundaries and those of others. I also feel that I have been seen truly and deeply like I have never been seen before.

Emma

This course has taught me the importance of recognising feelings, accepting that I have choices and above all that I can just say no. I loved Adam’s facilitation and voice. I already notice that I am happier and less angry/resentful.

Karin

Working with Adam has helped me to dare to ask for what I want, and shown me I am not alone.

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Want to learn more? 

This workshop is based on Betty Martin's Wheel of Consent. It's all laid out beautifully in her new book The Art of Receiving and Giving

We recommend this book for those interested but unsure whether they want to attend a workshop and for those who have taken the workshop and want to continue learning.

This book is a great foundation for the work and takes you through exercises you can try with friends and partners.

Available from all good bookstores and Amazon.

Get the book