The Art of Giving and Receiving

A deep dive into relating, authenticity, boundaries and Betty Martin's Wheel of Consent.


Next workshop dates

When we engage with others, whether it is a family member, friend, colleague or romantic partner – are we doing what they want us to do, or what they allow us to do?


What is the difference and why does it matter?

At this weekend workshop, we will learn the Wheel of Consent, a powerful tool to help us understand the unseen dynamics which guide the ways we relate to each other. 

We will learn to make clear agreements and get in touch with what we want and how to ask for it so we can create satisfying connections with ourselves, partners, family members and colleagues.

This Workshop is about 

  • Gaining skills of empowerment and communication – noticing, valuing, and trusting desires, having the courage to ask for what we want, and feeling safe enough to receive 

  • Waking up our ability to feel and notice what we want 

  • Making choices – learning how to choose for ourselves

  • Understanding the dynamics of Receiving and Giving and taking them apart 

  • Understanding who is doing and who it is for – because they are different

Four kinds of relating within clear agreements


for our own benefit – doing what we want – while respecting the giver’s boundaries


another to take from us – they do what they want with our permission – while maintaining our boundaries


another for their benefit – we do what they want – within our boundaries


the gift of another’s service – they do what we want – while maintaining their boundaries



Unless you take apart and experience each of these four aspects, it is impossible to know what they really are.


Understanding and embodying the Wheel of Consent happens best through a somatic experience – you have to feel it in your skin. Therefore, learning the Wheel happens through touch exercises.

Over 2 days we will

  • Learn what ‘Receiving’ and ‘Giving’ really are – and why knowing the difference is crucial for creating authentic connection and intimacy
  • Find out where we are clear (or not) in Receiving and Giving
  • Learn the framework of the Wheel of Consent® and the four Quadrants as a foundation for connection
  • Experience pleasure and sensation in your skin that you can access any time you choose
  • Access parts of yourself that have been hidden away that are ready to be seen, appreciated and healed
  • Gain skills to bring awareness to your hands so that all your touch is rich and satisfying
  • Become exquisitely aware of your desires and limits and how to communicate them
  • Practice Receiving, Giving and experience each of the four Quadrants
  • There are many opportunities for exchanging touch as part of the learning, but there is no intimate touch and clothing stays on in the workshop. 

Who this is for

Couples & Individuals

  • Learn how to give and receive more satisfying touch

  • Deepen your connection & intimacy

  • Find more ease, confidence and sensuality in your relationships

Wellbeing Professionals

  • Get clearer on your personal and professional boundaries

  • Level up your consent skills

  • Embody the wheel and learn how to bring it to your clients and workshops

Entrepreneurs & Businesses

  • Improve your communications with colleagues, employees and customers

  • Create agreements that align to the needs of all parties

Ready to join?

Hawkwood Colledge

8-10 October 2021

Set in the house and grounds of the stunning Hawkwood College estate in Gloucestershire

Book here

Chocolate Studios

20-21 November 2021


Please note we have reached our quota for male participants for this workshop. Any men wishing to book can look at future dates or join the waiting list.

Islington, London

Book here

About your facilitator

Adam Wilder is a connection and boundaires coach, comedian, and founder of the Togetherness movement.

He is an experienced facilitator, trained counsellor and has studied multiple modalities including the Diamond Approach, Circling, Authentic Relating and clowning. 

Adam has a natural gift for using humour and his own authenticity to create warm and inviting spaces that support people to let go of old ways of being to stay sovereign and discover new parts of themselves, enabling nourishing and transformative connections for individuals, teams, and organisations.

Adam is currently training to become a certified facilitator of the Wheel of Consent.


This course has taught me to respect my boundaries and those of others. I also feel that I have been seen truly and deeply like I have never been seen before.


This course has taught me the importance of recognising feelings, accepting that I have choices and above all that I can just say no. I loved Adam’s facilitation and voice. I already notice that I am happier and less angry/resentful.


Working with Adam has helped me to dare to ask for what I want, and shown me I am not alone.