Togetherness presents
The Wheel of Consent Workshop
Change your life with the Art of Giving and Receiving
next dates
London: 17-18 September 2022
Totnes: 8-9 October 2022
Utrecht: 25-27 November 2022
Intro events 19 July, 6 September
Join Workshop NowWhen we engage with others, whether it is a family member, friend, colleague or romantic partner – are we doing what they want us to do, or what they allow us to do?
What is the difference and why does it matter?
At this weekend workshop, we will learn the Wheel of Consent, a powerful tool to help us understand the unseen dynamics which guide the ways we relate to each other.
We will learn to make clear agreements and get in touch with what we want and how to ask for it so we can create satisfying connections with ourselves, partners, family members and colleagues.
This workshop is about noticing and learning to choose.
It is about waking up our natural ability to notice what we do and don’t want. It’s about slowing right down and making really clear agreements that we can relax into.
We do this so that when we are giving we can be sure it’s something the other person wants to receive and that we are willing to give it, with a whole heart, without resentment or burnout. And that when we are receiving, we are sure it is something we want and that the other is willing to give, so that we can practice allowing the gift all the way in. Often there is more vulnerability in receiving what we want, than in giving.
When we do this we learn to trust ourselves more and naturally we become more confident in our ability to choose. We stop tolerating things at work or in relationships and learn to trust and communicate our true desires and wishes. We open the door to more authentic and enriching connection.
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Gain skills of empowerment and communication – noticing, valuing, and trusting desires, having the courage to ask for what we want, and feeling safe enough to receive
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Wake up our ability to feel and notice what we want
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Make choices – learning how to choose for ourselves
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Understand the dynamics of Receiving and Giving and taking them apart
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Understand who is doing and who it is for – because they are different

The Wheel takes apart the unseen dynamics which guide and often confuse our interactions.
It does this so we can explore each relating style and understand each in turn. This equips us better for when we find ourselves in situations where we would naturally go into a people-pleasing mode, or end up tolerating or enduring something we don’t want.
Through an embodied exploration of the wheel, we develop permanent trait shifts which start showing benefits in all areas of our lives. It makes it easier to make clear agreements with colleagues, clients and bosses. It opens the door for more fulfilling relationships with our families. It impacts the way we show up in relationships and bring up our children.
The impact that orienting towards what we really desire and away from what we do not, is huge.
The Wheel gives us the practices, framework and embodiment to do just that.
The Wheel shows us four kinds of relating within clear agreements

Taking
for our own benefit – doing what we want – while respecting the giver’s boundaries
Allowing
another to take from us – they do what they want with our permission – while maintaining our boundaries
Serving
another for their benefit – we do what they want – within our boundaries
Accepting
the gift of another’s service – they do what we want – while maintaining their boundaries
Unless you take apart and experience each of these four aspects, it is impossible to know what they really are.
Understanding and embodying the Wheel of Consent happens best through a somatic experience – you have to feel it in your skin. Therefore, learning the Wheel happens through touch exercises.
Whilst there are opportunities for exchanging touch as part of the learning in this fully clothed workshop, this is 100% optional and it is not necessary to touch or be touched to learn from the session.
Over 2 days we will
- Learn what ‘Receiving’ and ‘Giving’ really are – and why knowing the difference is crucial for creating authentic connection and intimacy
- Find out where we are clear (or not) in Receiving and Giving
- Learn the framework of the Wheel of Consent® and the four Quadrants as a foundation for connection
- Experience pleasure and sensation in your skin that you can access any time you choose
- Access parts of yourself that have been hidden away that are ready to be seen, appreciated and healed
- Gain skills to bring awareness to your hands so that all your touch is rich and satisfying
- Become exquisitely aware of your desires and limits and how to communicate them
- Practice Receiving, Giving and experiencing each of the four Quadrants
Who this is for
Couples & Individuals
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Learn how to give and receive more satisfying touch
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Deepen your connection & intimacy
- Find more ease, confidence and sensuality in your relationships
Wellbeing Professionals
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Get clearer on your personal and professional boundaries
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Level up your consent skills
- Embody the wheel and learn how to bring it to your clients and workshops
Entrepreneurs & Businesses
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Improve your communications with colleagues, employees and customers
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Create agreements that align to the needs of all parties
Logistics
Timing
We run from 10 am - 6 pm on Saturday and Sunday. You are welcome to arrive from 9:30 am each day. In Holland, we add a Friday evening which is 7-10pm.
What to bring
Usual workshop stuff, a water bottle, clothes you are free to move in and a notebook and pen if you like to journal or take notes.
Food & Drink
Throughout the workshop, we provide teas, coffee, hot drinks and a selection of fruits and nibbles. For lunch you are welcome to bring your own or there are usually a number of places nearby where you can eat.

Past participants said

"It feels like the light has been switched on in a dark room. I suddenly feel I have the tools to be myself within relationships, and can enrich the relationships themselves by being more authentic"
- Ana-Georgeta Bolohoi, workshop participant

The big benefits of the workshop are discovering that you are worthy of having choices. That you do not have to people please and that direct, kind and honest communication is the cornerstone of more authentic encounters. (read more)

For me the benefit has been learning to think about what is important in terms of what I want, allowing myself to ask rather than give, and to find better ways of communicating with those who are important to me. (read more)

I 100% recommend this workshop to others, it has revolutionised my world. (read more)

I found the wheel was like a compass exercise that fine tuned my directions of choice over the 2 days. (read more)

I took the workshop to focus some dedicated energy towards becoming clearer on my limits, boundaries, needs, and wants. (read more)

Moving into a new career, I wanted to be sure I am always in consent. So I wanted to understand the wheel and its applications in more depth. (read more)

My aha moment was noticing that for me, asking for what I want feels empowering whilst asking others to do something for me feels vulnerable. (read more)

Before the workshop, I didn’t have a lot of self-awareness or good habits of checking in with myself. It was not easy saying what I want or receiving or saying no in all situations. (read more)
About your facilitator
Adam Wilder is a connection and boundaires coach, comedian, and founder of the Togetherness movement.
He is an experienced facilitator, trained counsellor and has studied multiple modalities including the Diamond Approach, Circling, Authentic Relating and clowning.
Adam has a natural gift for using humor and his own authenticity to create warm and inviting spaces that support nourishing and transformative experiences for individuals, teams, and organisations.
Adam is a certified Wheel of Consent facilitator.
More on Adam at AdamWilder.com
Join our next workshop
London, UK: 17-18 September
Takes place in Islington, 10am - 6pm both days
We offer a discount to all NHS staff and do not want anyone to be excluded from learning this valuable practice because of lack of funds.
Get in touch if you need a bursary or to take advantage of the NHS offer.
Totness, UK: 8-9 October
10am - 6pm both days
Utrecht, NL: 25-27 November
7-10pm Friday 25th, 10am - 6pm 26-27 November
Join an evening intro workshop

19 July & 6 September, London
This is designed as an introduction to the Wheel. On the evening we will:
- Learn a technique to wake up our natural ability to feel sensation and experience pleasure in our hands
- Play an enjoyable game we can use with friends and partners to explore the dynamics of giving and receiving
- Look at a basic diagram of the wheel so we can start to understand the 4 quadrants and relational dynamics it shows us
- Give you handouts about the wheel and the games to take away and enjoy

Shaun
This course has taught me to respect my boundaries and those of others. I also feel that I have been seen truly and deeply like I have never been seen before.

Emma
This course has taught me the importance of recognising feelings, accepting that I have choices and above all that I can just say no. I loved Adam’s facilitation and voice. I already notice that I am happier and less angry/resentful.

Karin
Working with Adam has helped me to dare to ask for what I want, and shown me I am not alone.
Want to learn more?
This workshop is based on Betty Martin's Wheel of Consent. It's all laid out beautifully in her new book The Art of Receiving and Giving.
We recommend this book for those interested but unsure whether they want to attend a workshop and for those who have taken the workshop and want to continue learning.
This book is a great foundation for the work and takes you through exercises you can try with friends and partners.
Available from all good bookstores and Amazon.
Get the book